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I have often thought that with any luck at all I could have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both my hands are the same length, but I have had to be content with what I had.
Like, sometimes I have exchanges in Russian where I get the sense of every sentence, and only miss a word or two, and get my point across and decline more than fifty percent of my nouns correctly and I feel JUST GREAT about life. And sometimes someone asks me where I’m from and I just choke. And sometimes I read a few solid pages of fairly complicated text without even consulting a dictionary. And sometimes I set out to write a sentence that seems pretty simple and four words in I realize that there is absolutely no way in hell I can express that thought. And mostly my teachers tell me I’m pretty good at this and God knows I fucking work but I am so far away from being able to use Russian in anything more than a basically functional fashion. How do people ever learn second languages? I want to be able to like read Chekhov and eavesdrop on people’s conversations in public. Is there any chance of that ever happening?
